95% of the time I hate to associate who I plan to be or what I plan to do in the future with the word DREAMS because of how unsure it can actually be, like I dream to become the first black female American president but now I’m awake I realize that that dream is going to have to wait another sixty plus years because first I’m not an American I don’t have a citizenship and I don’t seem to be getting one soon, second I’m black and I am a woman and don’t even ask which is easier because if I’m to make a mental pro/con list about being black and female it will look something like this .

I’m woman that means my boobs are too big to ever let me think well than a man.

But I’m also black which means that my ancestors were slaves both in your country and even In mine, and the only freedom I have now is the one you have given me so I shouldn’t dare say or think anything that will make me even brighter.

I’m a woman that means because some parts of my body were created to carry children…. {Which by the way is honor} I shouldn’t think of anything else but how to make and raise children. While are men in some places are literally forced to broaden their knowledge of the world around you.

But then my body secretes too much melanin that means that if my skin had not been fried from the sun in my country then I will probably be white but if I’m not white then I shouldn’t think of being anything other than SECOND BEST…. And if I work tirelessly, and even then they might still not see me as worthy for SECOND BEST.

I could go on and on about how unlikely it is for any of my so called DREAMS to come through. And no offence to those fighting an eternity long problem with their phones …. #feminist #genderequality #blaclivesmatter and every other I felt was too useless to type, I have a simple question to ask since y’all started HOW FAR? I don’t plan on staring a meaningless conversation that will only end with offended people and unresolved matters, I really don’t see where the world is going… like it’s just an endless cycle of some people having everything and others have nothing, and when at a sheer of luck one of the people that had absolutely nothing become part of the people that has everything they forget where they are coming from and still treat people as nothing...

I try to not be negative and DREAM just like the rest of the world but unlike the rest of the world I also wake up and make plans towards those DREAMS. I honestly don’t know how to change the system of the world or change the way the world works for the better, how to make a world where everyone is equal and gets equal rights and privileges and when you try to think of a solution to these problems we face in the world today, then your mind unconsciously reminds you that your young 21st century brain can never come up with solution the world has been facing long before your fore-father’s father was born, so you should just stop trying. Or maybe what my mind was try to remind me was even if I eventually find a solution, if it doesn’t involve killing all the bad people in the world and their generations to come then it probably won’t work because bad people will find a way to frustrate everything.

A question I always ask my mind is who are bad people? Do I cut the list? Or because I’m not in jail or I’m not accused of one thing or the other I should be considered a good person? How do you tell someone is bad by just looking at them? How do you tell someone is good by just looking at them? What’s the difference between a bad person and good person? How does motive affect what’s good and bad? What makes a person go from being bad to being good? Can a person be half good and half bad? Can a person that’s bad become genuinely good? If so, how do you know they are not pretending? How do you even tell a person is pretending before you find out the person is actually pretending? Is there a difference between what is wrong and what is bad? And a difference between what is right and what is good? This list of questions would never end and you will get tired. If you are just like me I bet you tried answering some of the questions and you figured that all the answers you came up with a were either biased or out of place and you also tried to relate the questions to yourself and even then you couldn’t figure anything out, “well been there done that”. Then if you are not like me, you probably just went like ….. This is too deep for me, if you are this person then I envy you. Because sometimes we just have to be okay with the fact that some things are too deep for us and move on, at least that’s what I try to do.

If I didn’t mention how you reacted please do well, to tell me in the comments because I’m very much interested in your opinion and if I didn’t mention some questions you normally ask you yourself relating to the matter at hand or not please comment about it too. And yes I by just proof-reading this the second time noticed that my mind basically deviated from the topic I started writing to something entirely different but I guess that’s how my works and it assures you I’m authentic. This might be the blog post that will shape most of my blog post to come just reading again got me thinking.

Congratulations you just read 1000+ words straight from genamie’s thoughts

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