SHE🦋
She is ruined and damaged
She is broken and down
Her innocence was taken away from her
Way way before a very long time.
She used to be the happiest of them all
She used to have the biggest and brightest smile
She used to have a heart of gold,
that nothing could stain.
She noticed though
that all of a sudden
everything went crashing down.
She got to understand death
and the evil of life at a very young age.
And those who were meant to be there,
to hold her and make sure
the shits of life wouldn't have an effect on her,
either died or left her behind.
She didn't know or understand what was happening
until she no longer felt happy.
The things that used to get her all excited
couldn't even strike the tinniest of chord in get
and the things that made her feel on fire,
no longer caused as little as sparks I'm her.
And just like that,
giving out a smile became one of the hardest thing for her.
Though she still smiles,
yes, she smiles a lot to cover up that pain and darkness.
But that genuine and innocent smile,
became a stranger to her.
She's really trying to find an explanation to what went wrong
Why her big soft heart became an hard stone
Why she no longer cares about anything or anyone
Why instead of happy and positive thoughts,
sad, negative thoughts are all she can think of.
Why she destroys the little good things around her
cause she's ready for it be ruined.
She doesn't like this though,
she wishes with everything in her
something or someone
could bring back the old her.
Don't forget to comment! After reading any story
You belong to me
If this had happened ten years ago, I'd have stood up to sing Taylor swift's "Speak Now".
"He's finally married". Charles, my husband whispered in my ears as he used his middle finger to tuck my hair behind my ears.
"Of course he is" I smiled back at him and focused my attention back on my best friend who looked happy getting married to his high school girlfriend.
His eyes found mine and we both smiled and made funny faces to each other. When he liked back to Amelia, who looked like a princess as always, I couldn't help but think about how I always dreamt that will be me. Well......... until Charles came into the picture.
********************************************
"Hey Bestie". Alex kissed my cheek from behind, in the library where I was struggling to complete my assignment and figure out a topic for Mrs. Reynolds to talk to the grade two about.
*BESTIE* that's what Alex calls me almost all the time, maybe so I could let it sink in my head that that was all we were..."Best Friends" nothing more, nothing less. But you know, I might as well say this, that's just simply what I am to Alex and not him to me... Yes, I don't see Alex as just my best friend, Alex has been the only guy I've loved in all my life.
"Hi Alex" I took off my glasses and headphones knowing fully well work was done.
Now I see why students were happy when they found out Miss Sandy was absent today. The library is open for everyone and no one would complain of noise today.
"You look tired". Alex used his white handkerchief to wipe the sweat dots on my face. "Tough work?" he put the handkerchief back to his pocket.
Every work is a tough work once it's from Mrs. Reynolds,". I honestly replied.
"What did she ask you to do this time?"
"Well apparently, second grade has a talk show on Friday and she needs me to help her come up with something. She claims she doesn't want to bore them by sounding old". Even though we all know she's old. I completed in my mind.
"I guess that's what happens when you're your Aunt's favorite student". Alex wore a smug smirk and I just groaned in response.
"I don't mean to sound rude but I really hate it"
"Her being your Aunt or you being her favorite student?"
"Both. I'm Mr. John's favorite student too and he also makes me do extra work. I just want to be a normal student, I don't even want anyone to know my name". I'm sure I sounded so frustrated but trust me, you also will if you were in my shoes.
"Just in case you haven't noticed Sugar, there's no normal student in our high school". Alex wasn't teasing me, even I know it was true. "You're either famous for being an athlete or a football and basketball player or for being a cheerleader, or being that boring nerd that's the bully's favorite toy or just like in your case, for being a nerd who has a family working in the school and is loved by all teachers".
"But I don't want that". I cut Alex from saying whatever else he had to say. I didn't sign up for all these.
"It wasn't and still isn't up for a debate Jenna.... that's just how it works here".
The silence that followed was quick and very needed. I took a deep breath and packed my bag.
Alex frustrated sigh was what made me stop what I was doing.
"You OK?"
"I've never been Ok since I started dating her"
"Amelia?"
I was answered by Alex 'duh?' face. Even I knew that was a stupid question. Who else was he dating.
"Just break up with her Al. I hold nothing against her but if she stresses you that much, you should seek your mental peace by ending it". And not take it up again. I said that last sentence in my head... but truly, they've broken up and come back together like what? twenty times...
"I can't Jenna.. it isn't easy.. she's a whole lot to handle but she needs me so much. All her life, she never had anyone to stick up to and she finally has me, I've made promises I don't want to break. And I love her"
*CRACK! CRACK!! CRACK!!!* that was my heart break. For a lot of reasons, I say.
Yeah true, I know Amelia is a lot to handle. I know that because she was once my best friend. I and Amelia were once inseparable, everyone knew we were best friends but everything changed two years ago when she joined the cheerleaders and became the captain. At first, she still hanged out with me and begged me to join her but knowing fully well I wouldn't, I guess she got tired and got herself new friends to maintain that new socal life she just got.
That was the beginning of our issues but it became worst when I found out she had a crush on Alex. She alone knew about my feelings for him and so I think her falling in love with him was just to hurt me. She broke our friendship and decided to break my heart. As a cheerleader, she was mostly always with Alex since he was the captain of the football team. Now try imagining how I always feel when I do watch my best friend in the field and see my ex best friend stare at him with love.
Cut story short, I felt and still do feel like Taylor swift when she sang "You Belong To Me" because though I am Alex's best friend and i love him, fine, he loves me in the best way possible, but he still loves someone else in another way and isn't trying to hide it. I should be the one he should be in love with... I'm the one who knows him, his family, his favorite song, drink, food, colour, I know his dreams and fears... I know everything about him. And kill me, I'm always the one he comes crying to whenever he and Amelia breaks up.
"She's calling" Alex rose to his feet staring at his phone. "we'll see later. Don't go home without me, I'm dropping you off remember?" I nodded my head like the faithful dog I was
"Good. love you" he kissed my forehead and disappeared.
***********************************************
"I never believed he was going to end up with Amelia". Charles had his both hands on the steering wheel, driving us home
"I know right. They could never had been together for two months without breaking up"
"Exactly. I always thought if my little brother was going to end up with someone, it was going to be.... never mind" "So what should we do tonight?" Charles sounded so desperate to change the topic. He shouldn't have brought it up in the first place and he knows.
"I love you hunny but I'm sure you didn't just tell me 'never mind'" I imitated him. One of the funny common things between my husband and I was that, neither of us will ever let a 'never mind' slide.
"Aaarghh fine" now my thirty one years old husband was acting more childish than our baby girl "I always just thought Alex would have ended up getting married to you". Charles threw a scared look my way before returning his gaze back to the road.
"Me?"
"Yeah. With the way he always got into a fight with me whenever I spoke about my feelings for you, if i was a bet person, I'd have bet odds you were getting married" he laughed. "And I know you also let that thought in your head a lot of times" his smile faded away and I couldn't tell if he was joking or his insecurities were back.
I sighed and turned to the back to carry up Nora, our toddler so has been listening attentively -i believe- to our conversation which Charles just looked at me from the mirror.
"I'm not going to deny the fact that I once loved Alex. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it but then, he was a lost course, I knew I could never have had and who cries over a bottle of milk when you have whole pizza and a bucket of ice cream with you". Nora's whines interrupted me and I and Charles laughed. "Well, except Nora" I continued.
"Whatever happened was way before I fell in love with you. I don't know how I didn't realize it before, you know, during the whole time I was chasing something that wasn't mine but I don't care honey. Look, I love you, I love Nora, I love us, I love our family and trust me, the moment you came into the picture, you won my whole heart.... I never was one that could do two things at once, I gave you my love and gave it all to you. I know you still do feel somehow but believe me when I say, I'll never trade what I have with what doesn't belong to me. I belong to you and you Belong to me".
I ended my speech and Charles surprised me by parking the car in the garage I didn't know we've reached and kissed me.
The kiss though was rushed, was full of love and passion. We didn't speak a word, the only thing that could be heard was Nora giggles.
Simi_Precious❤️
A Nigerian and a student. A Christian, lover of God and books as well.
Just now
